RAPE AND IT'S TRAUMATIZING EFFECT

by - April 18, 2018

Rape is that unwelcomed defect the society seemed cursed with, it is plainly dehumanising and outright wrong. It has been in existence for a very long time, so it is safe to say everybody knows about this heinous act.Rape can be defined as a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent. Take note of the key word here which is consent.


Now what is consent or mutual consent? It simply means to express willingness or to give permission. That is, both parties involved have to 'mutually consent' to a sexual relationship. Having a sexual relationship with an under aged girl or boy even if they agree to it is not'consent'. It is simply statutory rape(the abuser here is referred to as a pedophile), forcefully having sex with your married partner against his or her wish is rape, having a sexual relationship with someone after being pressured verbally or bullied or welding of power to force consent is rape! Sex under duress is rape.

All over the world, it is a known fact that rape is mostly carried out by men, though some women carry carry out this terrible act, but the percentage is relatively low.

Now the question is this, why is this vice so prevalent in the society? How can we all fix this? Rape is a very traumatising defect no one should ever experience irrespective of their gender.

I had a friend once who narrated how he was molested as a kid by their maid for so many years. Of course, his parents didn't know about it. He kept it to himself till the maid left their place. Now he is all grown up, and he never finds any young lady attractive. He instead prefers ladies who are eight  to ten years older than him. Now, it's not as if it is bad to date someone older, but in this guy's case, his psyche is so messed that he never enjoys relationship with someone younger or of the same age with him. He finally seeks help with a psychologist after battling with the effect for so many years  and now, he's getting better.

There are so many cases of rape that has not be brought to justice, the society has made it look like a big misfortune that must not see the dawn of the day. As a result of this, so many people have kept quiet about it. So how exactly has the society made this issue worsen?

BLAMING THE VICTIMS

Ever wonder why so many victims keep quiet about this instead of speaking up, it is because the society judge them even before hearing them out. There is absolutely no justification for rape please. Don't tell that girl child or lady that she got what she wanted because she was not well covered.

Don't encourage this barbaric act. Don't tell the victim she is automatically guilty of visiting her male friend who in turn raped her. Don't tell the victim she seduced her rapist. We need to start encouraging these victims to speak out in order to get justice.

There is this sense of healing all victims derive when the rapist is being made to face the law. Please, let us not deny these victims of this closure, it helps them heal faster knowing that they've gotten justice. It starts with you and I, condemning this act and helping these victims find justice.

It doesn't have to happen to you or any of your family member before you can speak up. If such thing happens in your environ, help the victim get justice. The victim might be threatened by the rapist, but if you have your facts right; it is essential to make the authorities know about it.

STIGMATISING THE VICTIMS

All victims deserve to be treated fairly, don't avoid them because of what they couldn't control. They didn't wish for the misfortune that befell them, so why make them feel worse? Honour killing is a certain tradition in the middle east, whereby the victim is being killed due to the belief that the victim has brought shame to the family's name. So if a lady gets raped in this part of world (middle east) a male member of family will carry out the gruesome act of ending her life to restore dignity to the family. What dignity exactly is this family trying to restore? Why stigmatise the victim instead of helping them?

Stigmatization is very real, as a result of this; most victims keep this sensitive matter to themselves in order not to get labelled. I'm talking about the snide remarks people make when a rape victim passes by. Why make them feel bad? Why give them a new name because of a misfortune they didn't wish for?

TRIVIALISING THE ISSUE

I get baffled and angry when I read comments online by our "supposedly Future Leaders" openly justifying this gruesome act. The way they trivialise the issue and wave it off, instead of speaking out against it is really disturbing.  I read in horror, hateful comments directed at the victims whom they tell without mincing words that they actually enjoyed the whole excruciating experience.  It breaks my heart to know that our level of humanity has been reduced; and any lady who comes out to share her #metoo experience is always readily slut shamed. Why is this so? When exactly did we get so insensitive? How did we get to this point of trivialising an important issue? I know for a fact that some ladies these days do frame guys up when their relationship go awry, just to get even with them. But it is not always so in all cases. Every rape case should be taken seriously and investigated thoroughly to ascertain the real fact. So, at the end; the culprit will face the judgement, and the victim will get the justice he/she deserves.

The traumatising experience an abused victim takes part of, should never be wished on another. The feeling of helplessness, brokenness and depression that sets in is totally indescribable. This actually distorts the psyche of some victims, and for those who are not strong enough; they always have to battle with suicidal thoughts. It can only take series of therapy sessions to let go of all the bitterness that has been bottled up. No human being should ever experience this demeaning act. But how exactly can we curb this issue? It starts with rendering listening ears to the victims without being judgemental. Helping them get justice irrespective of who the culprit is and finally, encouraging people to share their experiences.

Have you ever been molested? Who did you confide in? What steps did you take to make sure the culprit got arrested?  Will you help a victim out, damning all consequences?

Share your thoughts with me.


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