by - May 08, 2018

The internet went agog last week when the crooner Davido bought a supposedly "45 million naira" suv for one of the ladies in his life. Of course, there were reactions everywhere, with different comments trailing the love birds. He even wrote a song for her, which was released on her birthday. Wait a minute, maybe not all Nigerian men are really a lost cause; maybe some can be actually romantic, depending on the situation.(winks). The hash tag &Assurance& was everywhere, and almost every Nigerian lady wished unabashedly to live that kind of life.

Under twenty four hours, beautiful ladies and the not so pretty ones changed their bio. The first noticeable thing was their culinary skill gesticulating with every pun intended. One bio reads like: i'm a fantastic cook, a fashionista, a helpless and hopeless romantic who knows how to respect a man.(very shallow right? ) Of  course, she didn't change her bio to depict this description of hers in order to get her hustling boyfriend to "commit" (whatever that means) but instead to attract a wealthy guy like the crooner who  released a song and got a porsche either brand new or fairly used just to celebrate the love of his life.
I know of the adage that says " The way through a man's heart is through his stomach"  Isn't this a fallacy? I know of few badass cooks whose marriages crashed because their husbands left them for those sophisticated ladies who hates going to the kitchen in order not to get their artificial nails ruined. Is it not laughable that a man could actually leave his wife who prepares great meals for another who can't stand the heat in the kitchen? Now tell me really, can good food really keep a man? I was astonished, when an acquaintance told me recently that cooking is actually an achievement a woman should proud of. I guess it automatically translates into the fact that, having a culinary skill as a woman will make a marriage last longer or perhaps make her man respect her better.
Now, this brings me to the assertion that has been peddling all over the blog sphere; that the hip hop artiste is head over heels in love with this lady because of her great cooking skill. But I'm actually surprised that no one is talking about the fact that he has been dating this lady for the past five years. Five years of constantly cheating on her with other women, and even fathering babies with them and flaunting those baby mamas all over. How come no one sees this forced public display of affection as an atonement for the pop star's philandering ways? How come everyone suddenly sees this as the prototype for an ideal relationship?
I am angry that some ladies actually consider this type of relationship as a goal everyone should strive to have. How can you allow anyone to walk over your self esteem like that and at the end, play it cool because of the attention he suddenly started showering on you? I really do not understand the rationale behind this. Maybe it's because I can't stand a cheating partner in anyway, or because of the way I was  raised to always keep my self esteem intact and to never let let my happiness depend on anybody. I know of the endorsement deal she recently bagged and I am not in anyway envious of her achievement if I can call it one. I am just surprised at how fickle minded most of our youths are,thinking money actually makes the world go around. I really do not think any self respecting adult would love to be treated like this. Maybe I should just speak for myself.
What happens at night when she strips off the masquerade? Does she loathe herself for being so easy to buy over, or sees this sudden attention as a breakthrough? The younger generation are observing keenly, and I am afraid of the type of youths we would have by the time they are all grown. Just to serve as a reminder, the crooner didn't fall irrepressibly in love with the damsel because of her culinary skill, but because oh well!because of the obvious. I find it amusing that some ladies are actually aspiring to be the next best Chioma! Whatever happened to actually working hard to be able to afford the good things of life, instead of waiting for a man to provide all? The only assurance anyone can have is to have a stable source of income and to never depend on anyone for their happiness.
This is entirely my observation;if you have a contrary opinion to this, make it known in the comment section.

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  1. I draw tentacle to a particular trend recently too, of Chimamanda's comment on Hillary's choice of including "wife" in bio, while her husband's has nothing of "husband". You can relate I trust. I find that, that connects with the very point, of girls starting to change bio: to something of culinary expertise. Be that as it may be, in my opinion, I find it very out of proper to think that " cooking" is chiefly the reason to attain highest echelon of a relationship. Not in a world where gender equality(at the female side) is struggling should we have such a drown thinking, and this is one of the things opposite sex mentions to justify their point of female "commodification" —it is saddening that we find the particular sex prioritising this.

    Nicely opined AY.