by - July 31, 2018

I was headed for a lecture that was scheduled for 2 pm that day when I met him. He was inside his vehicle, probably making a call when he spotted me. He alighted from his car when he saw me approaching. He was very tall; about 6 feet 2. He had a clear glowing brown complexion, averagely built and very handsome. Damn! What a hunk of a guy.I muttered within me. When I got to few metres away him,he stopped me politely with his greetings.

'Hi good afternoon' he said to me in his husky voice smiling, revealing his nice set of dentition.
He smelt so good I felt like hugging him and sniffing his body. The air suddenly became cool. Was he having an effect on me? I asked myself. I turned towards him and replied him without stopping. 'Hello good afternoon' I said. It was just few minutes away from the scheduled time for the lecture and I wasn't about to get to the lecture room late.
'Please, if you could just spare me a little bit of your time, I would really appreciate it. 'He said to me in a convincing tone. He sounded polite to my hearing, so I halted and decided to spare him some few seconds.
'You're so pretty' he said to me with a smug look. I had gotten over the initial effect he had on me and replaced it with my ever sharp wit.
'Was that why you stopped me?' I asked him feigning irritation. Why did he have to look so good and smell so great huh? I asked myself for the umpteenth time.
'Oh, yes. A compliment is not a bad thing right? What's your name please? He inquired.
'Ayobami' I replied him checking my wrist watch. The time was 1.40 pm.
'Oh, so you're a Yoruba girl? I was expecting you to reply me with either Chioma, Ada or something.' He said in his proper accent which he wasn't faking.  He pronounced his words correctly and came across as someone with a good head. I rolled my eyes, because I was tired of hearing that.
'No, i'm not an Igbo girl. I really have to go now, I have a lecture to get to. Take care Ricky'I said. With that, I turned and headed straight for the lecture room. He followed me and the air carried along his pleasant, intriguing smell. I stopped at the entrance of Etf to listened to what he had to say. Students were already trooping into the lecture room.
'Ayobami, I would really like to have your phone number. I most definitely want to see you again.' He said in a calm voice. The sun was shining on his face now, and I had to steel myself from drooling. I intended to ignore him and just walk away to see if he would stick around just to get my number. But who was I kidding, I also wanted to see him again. So, I collected his phone, typed in my number and returned it to him. I didn't wait to hear the rest of what he was saying before I rushed into the class.
He called me that night, and we spoke for long minutes over the phone. He told me he had finished from my school years ago and he was around to get his certificate. I asked why he didn't collect it earlier and he explained to me that he had travelled or something upon his completion. Now that he was around, my school was stressing him but he was glad to have found something soothing which was me. It sounded cliché to my hearing, who was he kidding? So I rolled my eyes over the phone and I didn't laugh out like he had expected.  I slept that night dreaming about myself in a garden filled with so many beautiful flowers. They all smelled alike, just like the cute hunk's smell. I woke up the following morning with a text message from him which thrilled me greatly.
We started chatting constantly, discussing different topics. He would always want to know my thought about a particular topic. I never got tired of chatting with him,he was well read.I was enthralled within few days of meeting him. We planned on meeting at a lounge over the weekend, to spend more time with eachother. I remember always looking forward to chatting with him after lectures, and how I never got tired of listening  to his rich, soothing voice. But all these didn't last long, and the date we had planned never surfaced because I found out the truth.
We were discussing that night as usual when I asked of his family (parents and siblings; that was what I thought innocently) he told me they were not in the country and they were doing great.
'Don't you miss them' I asked him.
'I communicate with them daily, they are fine really' he replied me evasively. I told him that was splendid, but how I wasn't  looking forward to spending my old age over there in the cold. Then I asked him how his parents were coping with the cold over there when the truth blurted out.
'My parents are in Nigeria' he replied.
'So what family are you talking about? Are you married?I asked him perplexed.
Then he explained to me that he was talking about his wife and children; yes he was married! I was furious and also glad that I had known the truth early. I asked why he didn't tell me the truth earlier, and he said he was planning on telling me that weekend. Well I gave him a piece of my mind and told him to stick to his wife. I just couldn't comprehend why he would want to cheat on his wife. He couldn't have been married for more than three years considering his age.
'Why can't you just respect your vows? Your wife is over there with the kids while you're planning on cheating on her. Just lose my number okay?' I was hurt and disappointed. He apologised to me.He told me he wanted us to remain friends, that he really treasured our friendship of few days. I wasn't having any of it, so I blocked him. I didn't spot a wedding band on him when I met him, so I assumed he was single. But I was lucky to find out the truth early, he could have just string me on without any iota of his marital status.
So many single ladies fall into this trap always, what exactly are the signs to look out for to ascertain if a guy is married or not?
1. They Are Always Over Protective Of Their Phones.
Of course, you are the new catch and they can never risk the chance of you going through their phones, most especially their pictures because they are obviously hiding their marital status. So in order to keep up with the appearance of being a good guy, they would always cling to their phones like their lives depend on it. This is not only peculiar to the married men who can't keep their third leg in place, it is also very applicable to the single guys who find it hard to stay faithful to their partners.
2. Always Look Out For Their Fingers
This is one of the oldest trick in history, in order to determine the marital status of a person. But trust me, this is not an easy way out, because some are so cautious that they would always remove the wedding band whenever they want to go on their sexual pilgrimage. But you have be vigilant, because even if they hide their wedding bands, you will see the signs on their fingers.
3. Watch Out For Their Social Media Handles
 You will definitely see the signs and traces. It is never hard to miss. If any of their social media accounts is newly created within weeks of you meeting him, he is definitely hiding something.
4. They Always Avoid Personal Questions
They hate it when you keep asking about every little details of their lives. They find it hard to share certain information with you just to keep up with the charade. They get uncomfortable when you mention anything about 'family'.
5. They Like Hanging Out With You At hotels Or A Friend's Place.
No, he will never invite you to his place even after dating him for several months. He would always come up with one excuse or the other, just to keep you away from his family. You might never even know his house address before you finally break up with him.
6. There Is Always A Time Frame For Communication
He will always have a specific time set aside to contact you. You know he has to keep up with the appearance right? So whenever he declines your calls, most especially at nights; just know he is definitely hiding something.
7. Alway Trust Your Instinct
Listen to your intuition always. As a woman, you are blessed with this discerning spirit to make things out. Never ignore that feeling tugging in your heart. Always be cautious. Remember, love is a decision and not a feeling, take charge of your life. Trust me, he could actually not exhibit all these signs have listed and still be a married man. The 'Cute hunk' had all the time in the world to communicate with me because of his freedom. They are getting smarter each day, going shamelessly after young unsuspecting ladies. So please always be vigilant and never cease to ask questions before another woman disfigures your face with acid.
Have you ever experienced this? Did I miss out anything? Do you have a story to share with me? Kindly share your thoughts in the comment section.
If you would like to share your story with me for others to learn from, send me a mail @   I will publish your story and keep you anonymous.


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