by - September 28, 2018

I was craving 'Akara' that night immediately after having my bath, so I decided to dash out to get some since it was just a stone throw away from my apartment. After buying the 'Akara', I headed back home, already fantasizing about how I was going to do justice to the scintillating balls. I was passing by the viewing centre when this dude stopped me.

He told me I had ignored him the first time he called out to me while I went to get the 'Akara' . I apologised to him, and asked him what he wanted, I wasn't about to let the balls go cold. He asked for my mobile number politely, and I obliged without any hassle. Let's just say I was in a good mood that day. I got back in, demolished the balls and was still relishing the taste when his call came in.

He introduced himself properly this time and kept asking me series of questions. I didn't reply any, I was just so surprised. He sounded so off over phone, so I had to ask him if he was really the guy I gave my number to. He affirmed he was the one, and he kept speaking in that 'spree spree' fake accent. I was irritated with the show he was putting on, coupled with the fact that I couldn't grasp a word of what he was saying.

'Dude, I really can't make out what you're saying okay? Just chat me up, I think that's better' I said to him politely and
discarded him.

'Oh no babe, wah you saying?like yo! I'm gonna call you wif ma other line' he blurted out.

He later called me with his other line that night but I declined his calls, I wasn't about to be tortured mentally with his terrible pronunciation and fake accent! His messages were not any better. He reminded me of those uneducated black Americans who grew up in the ghetto. He wasn't deterred with how I kept asking him to repeat himself whenever he goofed, I guess he just wanted to sound so refined to his new catch but he actually ended up being repulsive. No, I really can't deal with a grown up man faking an American teenage accent.

The issue of faking accents has actually become so controversial with contrasting views surrounding it. Some believe in order
to be taken seriously, one must fake an accent to be considered worthy enough. In fact, some radio stations in Lagos readily employ those with the 'I just got back accent' ( which is usually fake by the way)over those with the Nigerian

Do not get me wrong, there are actually some people here in Nigeria with impeccable British and American
accents who do not have to fake their accents. But my grouse is actually with those who fake their accents in order to
sound posh.

I'm all for actually pronouncing your words correctly in your Nigerian accent instead of deliberately trying to sound different. You know the one that gets me, is actually those who can't keep up a conservation with the accent (either British or American) they started with. They will always switch from British accent to American accent and back to Nigerian accent within the completion of a sentence. Just pick a struggle, do not start what you can't finish. Nigerian accent was rated as one of the sexiest accent years back if I'm not mistaken, so why would anyone try to ditch that for a fake accent?

I know some will come up with the excuse that they schooled over there (overseas) so it will be very difficult to just drop the accent. But who are we kidding really?Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie travelled out of Nigeria when she was just 19 and till date, she still has her Nigerian accent.

 An Igbo guy approached me once and spoke to me in his 'supposedly' American accent. It was a disaster that day, and I was actually mortified on his behalf. He had the thick Igbo accent and he was still faking an American accent!

Father Lord. Life is not so difficult, just try to pronounce your words correctly.

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  1. It is really bad, there was a time someone asked that those working in radio station in Lagos if they train them to speak in British or American accent.

  2. This post cracked me up so hard. I think people believe they have to fake accent to appear cooler or something which is stupid. Even people who have lived outside the country for years still speak with regular Nigerian accent.