THE TERM 'WIFE MATERIAL' IS LOADED WITH HEAVY BAGGAGE

by - December 06, 2018

Few days ago, a self acclaimed relationship expert who also doubles as a therapist  listed some qualities a woman must readily posses in order to be referred to as a wife material. Apparently, to him, being referred to as this "revered" title,will also guarantee any woman who possesses these qualities to be able  to "hook" any man of her choice. As expected, so many men hailed the relationship expert online. Some even went as far as referring to him as a messiah, especially in this era where there are so many Slay Queens who are only interested in what a man has to offer financially. I actually found the list the "supposed" expert compiled very disturbing and outright downgrading. I was angry with the disdain being painted on my gender in it's full glory, because according to the society expectation; A woman will always be seen as that one who must be subservient.

It is interesting to note the fact that many relationship experts keep churning out different rules a woman must always follow in order to keep a man happy. There are just too many rules to keep up with. So I ask again,like I always do; who exactly is that being called "A Woman"? Was a woman created to be continually relegated to the background? Must a woman always conform to certain societal expectation before she can be seen as a good woman? Why is it always difficult to act as you deem fit without your gender being questioned? God forbid if a woman decides to strip off that restriction that has been placed on her for far too long, she will be readily labelled another thing entirely.
     Now, the next question boils down to why the society has endorsed this shameful narrative? It is not rocket science, it simply dwells on the premise that;The society at large simply thrives on patriarchy,and the "Woman" will always be at the receiving end for it. I don't think there is any term I hate more than "Wife Material" It was actually coined by some bunch of misogynists who decided to lay down certain rules a woman has to follow to be considered as a success in the society.
   
The term "Wife Material" is loaded with heavy baggage, baggage like: A woman can never be considered a success in the society without the presence of a man in her life, Marriage is an achievement which every woman must aspire to have. And the list goes on. As a result of this, several ladies who have internalised this message for so long, always try desperately to meet up with the status quo. If they find it hard to keep up with these rules in order to be termed "A Wife Material", they resort to pretence.

Now, pretence is a very bad illusion which saps up ones energy. You will never feel confident and comfortable of your being because, once you start; You will always have to keep conforming to the unending rules. Is this not ridiculous? Why can't we have a sane society where both genders are treated with the same level of respect? Why must one gender always be considered superior to the other gender? It is a known fact that men and women are different biologically, but that does not make any gender more dignified than the other. I crave for a society where no gender is burdened with that ridiculous tag called "Gender Expectation"By then, we will have happier men and women making impact in the world without trying to conform to some "rules"

You, yes ,You. You are a woman created in the image of God. You have prospect,substance, and potentials embedded inside of you. Instead of trying desperately to fit into that stifling box the society has made for you, why not try to emancipate yourself from it and start living up to your full glory. Try focusing on developing yourself and possessing good qualities which will be of benefit to your family and friends. Never ever cower in fear or pretence just to live up to that societal gender expectation expected of you. You are a woman, you can't change being one unless you undergo a gender reconstruction.  So, you have to embrace your femaleness in it's full depth and never ever be apologetic of your gender. Remember, you are worth more than cooking and cleaning.

You May Also Like

8 comments

  1. This is a very nice piece, just that, the term "wife material" from my own perspective has nothing to do with diminishing the female gender. In fact, it is a praise name for any female who is capable of taking care of a home.
    In this Era, I don't think there's any man who'll want to marry a woman who doesn't know how to take care of a home "if you know what I mean" regardless of her status in the society.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I absolutely understand your sentiment. All I'm saying is, there is always this gender expectation placed on the term "Wife Material" which makes it a very heavy burden.You made mention of the fact that a woman should readily "know how to take care of a home" Why is that so? Was she automatically born with that gene? A man and a woman complement each other. No gender is superior to the other.

      Thank you for stopping by.

      Delete
  2. Being a wife material and gender expectations are two far fetched terms that should be redefined to avoid misinterpretation

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, they actually walk hand in hand. You said up there that "In this Era, I don't think there's any man who'll want to marry a woman who doesn't know how to take care of a home "if you know what I mean" regardless of her status in the society"
      This right here is a perfect example of that societal gender expectation.

      Delete
  3. Beautiful piece for all wife materials and husband materials alike to read.

    Let me say I agree with the fact that the Society has placed certain demands on the female folks so much that we now have terms and terminologies so to speak for several aspect of the woman.

    However, I believe that wife materialism shouldn't be what its social meaning just is. Let the man and the woman in marriage understand what reverence for one another is. This will help us curb heavy demands on both wife and husband materials because the husbands also have a share in the whole materialism matter. It's just more pronounced with the female folk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've raised a very crucial point. Thank you for stopping by.

      Delete
  4. My opinion about this is:
    The world has grown to a stage where there needs to be reciprocated respect regardless the people involved.But some are yet to accept this.MY OPINION THOUGH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is absolutely correct Stanley. Thank you for stopping by.

      Delete