LADIES CAN YOU SHOOT YOUR SHOT?

by - February 11, 2019


I'm very sure we are all familiar with the phrase "Shoot Your Shot" In fact, Simisola a popular Nigerian artiste released a song titled "Joromi" particularly on this theme, urging ladies not to feel too shy to make their desires known. My own simple definition of this is: "To swallow your pride and declare your feelings for the person you're interested in." This right here actually requires a lot of courage because trust me, it's really not easy putting yourself at the mercy of another all because of your feelings.  It could either turn out great or embarrassing. It swings both sides really.
With this explanation, I ask again; ladies can you shoot your shot? Okay, calm down, please. I can see you rolling your eyes and binding and casting every spirit that will make you fall your hands by declaring your love to a guy first. (winks) But really, is it something awful to try out? I mean, if a man can let go of his ego just to woo a lady, can't this same narrative play out with the lady starring as the lead role? For some conservative women, they actually find the act of shooting one's shot as very scandalous.  In fact, some set of people tag ladies who carry out this "unpopular" act as promiscuous beings which I absolutely beg to differ.
The world is evolving, we are no longer in that archaic century where a woman has to wait patiently for a guy to make his intentions known before starting a relationship. Come to think of it, our beautiful, revered mother in the Bible "Ruth" actually shot her shot. So ladies what's holding us back? Is it the backlash? Or the embarrassment? Or the fear that you might be taken for granted? If that is the case, I've got you covered, as I will be sharing some tips with you.
My first experience of "Shooting My Shot" albeit in a subtle manner happened some years back. I was still a teenager then, around 18. I alighted from the bus that day inside Ketu garage when I saw my goodness of chocolate. It was on a Sunday afternoon. He was coming back from church with his friend clutching his Bible. I loved how he looked smart and cute in his well ironed native attire. I kept thinking of how to get his attention because really, I was intrigued. Luckily for me, one Igbo man was selling something by the roadside, so I moved closer to his shade, pricing his wares while staring at my crush all of the time. He finally noticed my intense gaze and at that moment, when our eyes locked, I smiled at him and looked away shyly. (just for the records, I've got a very beautiful smile. Yeah permit me to brag).


He walked over to where I was standing and greeted me. The air carried along his pleasant smell which I found inviting and refreshing. I have always been a sucker for guys that smell nice. That really got me that day, and I kept smiling like a sheep. The guy looked amazing. He introduced himself to me and asked for my name. I told him and we later exchanged our BBM pins. I remember blurting out that day that we were using the same phone; BlackBerry torch two was really in vogue then. To me, it was a divine sign from heaven that we were made for each other. We both went our separate ways that day, but our communication was really lit. I remember chatting with him one night when he asked me why I kept staring at him that day. I told him he actually looked like someone I knew and I also found him intriguing. He told me he appreciated my honesty and he was glad he came over to me that day.
Time went by, and I discovered that he had a girlfriend. For the records, he never led me on or asked me to be his lover. Though he was older, he never took advantage of that. We just chatted constantly as cool friends which I found surprisingly refreshing because, at that point, I had lost all romantic interest in him and just saw him as a cool friend. I never got to declare any romantic feelings for him, because it never germinated. We kept on as friends for a while before we stopped chatting because I lost his contact. But then, I really appreciated our friendship, because I gained a lot from him. That wouldn't have happened if I had not shown him my "green light", and he made everything easier by coming over and saving the day. I actually shot my shot in a subtle way which landed me a great friend. You can imagine how I would have felt that day hadn't been he didn't come over to me. I think I would have walked up to him and say something nice to him which would have still led us to be friends. My level of courage and confidence then was really topnotch trust me.
For some women, their own experience might be different from mine.  They might have been crushing on the guy for so long and find it very difficult to voice out their real desires. They might be scared of being taken for granted for feeling vulnerable. So, they would rather keep quiet about their feelings and try as much as possible to act cool whenever the guy is around. It is always a struggle trust me. But really, it takes a lot of guts for a woman to unabashedly voice out her feelings to a guy especially in this society where it's still being seen as something wrong. Some guys might actually capitalise on this and just take advantage of the lady, hence the scepticism from most women.


I have come up with some tips to help all those beautiful and courageous women who are willing to try this out:
1. Make your interest known.
You know deep down that this guy is not a sorcerer to know about your feelings for him right? So, you have to make him acknowledge your interest in him if you know you can't stop thinking about him. It doesn't really have to be something drastic by blurting out straight away that you really want to be a part of his life. That might scare him away and make him tag you as a desperate lady. So, take things slow by just dropping hints of your interest in him. Keep showing him the green light.
2. Befriend him.
This is not rocket science.  Most lovers today started off as friends. So what better way is there for you to achieve your aim if not by being friends with your crush? During this period of your friendship with him, you would discover so many things about him that could either make you lose interest in him or get you more interested in him.
3. Find out his relationship status.
Except you just want him to be your friend with benefits, it is really essential to find out if he's single or taken if you know you really want to have a place in his life. Trust me, it will be so much easier to know about this little detail from the beginning before getting yourself hurt in the process.
4. Be sure your love interest is mature.
Not so many men are really endowed with the maturity to handle this type of issue. So, in your best interest, it would be great if you can ascertain the level of the guy's maturity before blurting out your feelings. Be very sure he isn't someone who would tell every Tom, Harry and Peter about your feelings for him and subsequently bragging about how he turned you down.
5. Be prepared for the outcome.
If he ticks all of the boxes above and you're convinced he likes you even as a friend, you might just tell him exactly how you feel. But then, you have to keep it at the back of your mind that the outcome could either be favourable or unpleasant. He could either share your sentiment and start a relationship with you, or just outrightly turn you down. So it's really a fifty-fifty chance. Whatever the outcome may be, you have to be really cool about it. If he rejects your proposal, you do not have to turn him into your enemy. Remember, it is not every guy that asks you out that you end up dating. So try as much as possible to maintain your cool even if the outcome turns out unpleasant.
Finally, shooting one's shot is a very courageous act for any lady at all to try out. Be sure you can deal with this act very well before delving into it, and also make sure you are not being taken for granted if the guy accepts your proposal and you start a relationship with him. If he treats you like an afterthought with disdain because you asked him out; just salvage your dignity and leave the relationship.  Always know when to take a walk when you're not being treated right.

So ladies, there you have it. Can you shoot your shot especially in this season of love? Remember, you can never find out the outcome unless you try it out. So can you do this? Let's interact. Share your views with me in the comment section.

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