by - March 28, 2021

Trusting ourselves is so hard in a world that relentlessly shames us for everything related to our sexuality, our bodies, and our reproductive decisions. No one ever plans on having an accidental or unwanted pregnancy, but the bitter truth is accidental pregnancies are common. Contraception fails, they may not be afforded, may not be accessible, or for a vast number of reasons including disruptive life events, out of our control. 

To shock you, people of every faith and no faith at all will pray for miscarriages when they are faced with accidental and unwanted pregnancies. Many people seeking an abortion experience financial and logistical obstacles and also face shame and dissuasion from their family, society, and even themselves. 

We are all so afraid that a person might regret the decision of having an abortion as if we all don't regret some decisions we make. Sometimes, it is okay to explore the "What If". I hope you know that some mothers resent their child/children today because they came at the wrong time in their lives. If you have ever had an abortion and you always beat yourself up for it, please affirm these words:

"I realize now that I am not alone and I am not a bad person. I refuse to let the decisions I made haunt me forever"

Abortion lets you control your reproduction, sometimes as careful as you can be, contraception can fail. Many women routinely lose their lives from illegal abortions. The Government making abortion illegal doesn't stop the practice, it only ends the safe practice. Abortion being illegal will make the process more dangerous, cost more lives, lead to more fertility issues and marital problems, and inadvertently, psychological traumas. People deserve the right to choose what is in their best interest without making their businesses known to everyone. 

The real issue here is how do we make health education and birth control accessible to all regardless of income, gender, and social status? We should separate our opinions or beliefs from trying to control the bodies and lives of others that literally do not and will not personally affect us. I know societal opinion will say "if you don't want to get pregnant, choose the right partner, make better decisions, close your legs, and give other endless reasons" 

However, not all pregnancies are due to irresponsible behavior like you may think even though going through this way, I may say it's the irresponsibility of the man too (as women can't get themselves pregnant) Yes, it is true that women carry the burden of responsibility where pregnancy and childbearing are involved, yet for men to continue to think they're allowed an opinion about a woman's body, decisions, and her life entirely is quite disturbing. I stand for the notion that says "If it's not your body, then it's not your decision" under any circumstance. 

Ultimately, people should be given the right to choose whether they want to be a parent or not and this right should not be determined because of age, race, social status, economic status, and most importantly Marital status.

Written by Tinuade Daniel

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  1. A nice article indeed. All I can say is that it's not easy being a woman.